“Eat your breakfast Krshna” Ma said firmly as I sat at the table, dully making patterns with the cereal in my bowl. “I don’t want it” I said to her. “You don’t have a choice” she retorted, her fingers violently punching the keys on her laptop. “Feed me” I demanded.
Ma looked up from her laptop.
“Listen Krshna, Eat this or Ill have to tell the police” Ma threatened, pointing at the malnourished watchman taking a nap near our gate. “He’ll take you to jail and lock you up with other children who don’t eat.”
Needless to say, I went to school with a full stomach that morning.
Working mothers. They always find a way.
I’ve been in awe of Ma for as long as I can remember. I’d beam with pride when people asked me what my mother did. When I realised that she’d travelled to most countries across…
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Was reading through my previous posts and was struck with how unlike myself I sound.
Yeah, I guess I did start this as a way to jot down my feelings when I’m not in the best of moods. It’s definitely a healthier option to just bottling up my unhappiness until I explode or take it out on the people closest to me.
I don’t want to just use this on my bad days. I don’t want this to be a symbol of my unhappiness
Because I definitely have more good days than bad
Hate that tag with all my heart, but I can’t deny its truth
I have wonderful parents, honestly.
I’m always complaining or making fun of them, but the truth of the matter is they are amazing and I would be nowhere without them.
They both came from less privileged backgrounds.
Everything they have now was earned through hard work and sheer determination.
Us kids have everything we need and more because they were determined that we wouldn’t have to experience needing something but not having the means to get it.
I have an amazing baby brother.
He says no whenever I ask him to help me out with something.He pokes fun at me constantly.
He may not seem like the best to anyone else but he’s the best match for me.
I have always found it hard to find people who appreciate my sense of humour. He was #blessed with the exact same sense of humour that I possess.
We laugh at things that no one else could possibly understand.
He shares my opinions on many thing.
I might have hated him for a large part of his life, but we’ve both grown up some. We both know how rare it is to find someone with the same mindset to so many thing.
We still have a long way to go, but we’re starting to appreciate more.
I have my bae.
I never had a best friend.
I always wanted one, but I couldn’t find anyone who liked me enough
I always felt like I was second best.
I was liked, but never the most liked
I have someone who likes me for me
Who seeks out my company even though there are so many other people she could be spending time with
Someone I can talk to about serious issues, and also share my most mindless of thoughts with
Someone who values my opinions and takes into account my feelings
And that’s everything I ever wanted (luv you boo, idk if i’m going to tell anyone about this blog but you’ll def be the first)
And I want this blog to reflect that
Just turned 20
It was amazing. I spent the day with everyone I loved, got my second set of piercings, bought myself presents, and had a fantastic dinner and cake cutting with my family.
But the best part of birthdays is the build up.
Now I’m sitting here thinking, so what if I’m 20? How is today different from yesterday?
I see so many people my age or younger doing so much with their lives. Following their dreams, dedicating themselves to mission/relief work etc.
What achievements do I have to show for my two decades of existence?
I wasted the time I had in school, practically failed my finals
I’m in a university that puts me in an advantageous position over my schoolmates, but I’m just drifting from day to day, getting through my subjects with mediocre grades
I tell myself I want to follow my dreams of music, but can’t find the drive to follow up.
I’m no longer a teenager, but am I ready to be an adult?
How can I be motivated for work everyday if I’m not motivated for a 3-day school week?
Can I look after children?
Can I look after myself?
I really don’t know why I started this.
That’s what everyone says
But I really don’t
Maybe it’s because I need an alternative to bottling up my feelings.
I don’t want to lash out at people because of repressed emotions.
I don’t even know if I’m letting anyone see this.